A Micro Novel

Even when in the best of time, she still couldn't figure out what she wanted. 

She thought she knew what's best but turned out she didn't. Looking back twelve years ago when she got married, five years ago when she escaped from it, four years ago when she thought she'd give it a chance, and then finally three years ago when she ended it for good, she still wasn't sure what's best.

The dark cloud of a bad marriage hung over her head for years and she intentionally tried to remain the impression that she's a married woman while she's not. The uncertainty of what's out there, the fear of what people might think and judge and misjudge, the anxiety of the idea that she has to start from scratch all over again, the waves of rage and resentment within her, all that built up the person she is today. When someone asked how is your husband, she just said OK and then changed the subject. The idea of having a husband sounds easy and safe and a no-brainer. When you tell someone that you're divorced, you have to deal with all kinds of follow-up questions like why, and how, and when and so on and so forth, so you choose the easy way out, cowardly.

Then someone broke the curse by declaring out loud that they're single in front of her the other day that seemed so light and simultaneously easy but it struck her to her core that so is she and that she is no different, and she could do the same, saying that out loud. 

And that's exactly what she did, she reclaimed her freedom, she set her mind free from the cage that she's been locking herself in for years. She proudly announced to her friends that she's single like hell and that to her felt so freaking good. 

What's more important was she didn't wish she had done this earlier because she knew in her heart there's a time and place for everything, and this was her time and her place. Fear and shame can only control her if she kept them to herself, once she decided to look them in the eye and said I am not afraid anymore, I am ready to meet you head on, they no longer hold any power over her. 

This micro novel has a happy ending, no twist no blood lots of tears, and took years to write. 

The End.