What Do I Tell Him?

We made ourselves responsible for how people feel, which is not a great idea. We tend to avoid telling people how we feel, or the ugly truth, or facts that may upset them. We are afraid of their reaction, we don't want to see tears, disappointment, or even worse anger in some cases. Because of all that, we tip-toe around reality hoping the situation will pass and we don't have to upset anyone, especially our loved ones or our boss.

My parents expect me and my kid to come over for dinner on certain days of the week. Most of the time, it's fun. Some days, it feels more like an obligation to my kid. He's still a bit too young to understand all that about you don't have much more time in the world with grandparents anymore so make good use of it kind of thing. 

One day, my kid did not feel like coming for dinner and was afraid of telling grandpa that he's not coming. He asked me what do I tell him? The truth, I said, that you would want to stay home and having alone time for yourself today. I told him that he did not have to make up any excuses for that, the truth itself was good enough. Besides, his wish matters and people should respect that. 

I wanted him to adopt the skill of speaking up for himself and not taking responsibility for how people feel therefore avoiding it by lying. People would feel what they feel and there is no way you can rescue them from their feelings. It's not your job. It will definitely feel uncomfortable telling them the truth, but it's worth the effort. 

Next time you found yourself wondering what do I tell him or her or them, remember this, the truth.

🅣